Being the second half of a romantic relationship can prove to be quite challenging! In the beginning it’s all sweet and lovey! You snuggle into that “lovers stage!” You know that stage when you make sure to highlight and share all your “good qualities.” Making sure to skip all the bad ones. You are getting to know each other. There’s lots of questions. You’re holding hands, kissing and hugging. It’s exciting because everything is fresh and new. As time goes on you become familiar with your mate’s likes, dislikes, cute little quirks and even their annoying habits. It’s all fun and games until you realize this person may not be right for you.
Sometimes relationships just don’t work out. Whether it be the timing, infidelity or irreconcilable differences; not all relationships end with a happily ever after. There isn’t necessarily any rhyme or reason. Being compatible with another person can be extremely difficult no matter how hard you try to make it work. A relationship requires a serious commitment. Especially because you will be dealing with a different person each day. Let me explain…. We are growing and changing with every second that passes. So neither you nor your mate is the same person you were yesterday. Each day comes with its own set of issues. As we grow our maturity level changes, as does our tolerance and our love. Your love for your mate may grow, but it can also dissipate in capacity. If it’s the latter (dissipate love); what once made you love them no longer does. And when that happens I’m pretty sure “issa wrap.”
Your hopes and dreams were to be a part of this “great relationship!” You wanted to build a solid foundation within your relationship; while simultaneously maintaining your individuality! After all you have been through, you needed to make sure this time would be different. You felt good about this relationship. You were extremely happy and content. But as fate would have it you just couldn’t make it work. It’s over now.
Where do we go from here? How do you coexist peacefully with the one who once had your heart? Here are a few tips that I learn along the way.
1. Forgive. Forgiving yourself and your former mate is a way of releasing any animosity that may linger in your heart. Often when we are in a relationship we lose our sense of individuality and begin to consume and harbor a lot of spiritual waste. Releasing those things will surely ease some of the burden of your former relationship.
2. Pray. Prayer and meditation are extremely important. Through prayer we communicate with God and through meditation He communicates with us.
3. Reaffirm and embrace your individuality. After all, you shouldn’t have to sacrifice yourself just for the sake of being with someone else. Remind yourself of all the things that make you unique! God created you for a specifically wonderful purpose!
4. Remain single at least 3 seasons before attempting to date again. Reevaluating the things that lead to the break up can help to determine what not to do in your next relationship. Plus you need time to renew and rebuild your broken parts. Take your sweet time because some where out there God is preparing your perfectly imperfect mate.
Prayer Suggestion
All praises to the Most High God. Thank You for allowing us to see this day. Thank You for the blessings we have and will receive. Thank you for the gift of unconditional love. Thank You for the ability to love You, ourselves and others. Thank You for removing certain people and things from our lives so that we may do Your will. Create in us clean hearts so that we may forgive any and every one who we feel has wronged us. Help us to work on our ability to communicate with others emotionally, physically and spiritually. Help us to have the strength and discipline to remain separate of romantic relationships until You see fit. Walk with us as we prepare ourselves for the possibility of true love. We give You all the praise and glory, Amen!